“The watchword of all well-being is not ‘I’ but ‘thou’. Who cares whether there is a heaven or hell, who cares if there is a soul or not . . .? Here is the world, and it is full of misery. Go out into it as Buddha did, and struggle to lessen it or die in an attempt.”
— Swami Vivekananda
There are times when we make it our personal responsibility to fix others’ problems. The result? We burn out, and we feel unappreciated for the effort we put that others never asked for in the first place.
Wanting to be needed stokes the ahamkāra (ego). The expectation of recognition, rewards, and reciprocation follow. Not getting those destroys our self-esteem.
But trying to be useful stokes the Ātman (soul). You can do what actually makes others’ lives a little better instead of doing what you think will help them without feeling attached or harboring expectations.
Instead of asking, “Who needs me?”, ask yourself, “How can I be useful?” Offer to pick groceries for your old neighbors or babysit a friend’s child so she can take a walk in peace. Take out an hour from your me-time to complete a project for a colleague who’s struggling to balance work and family. If nothing else, leave people feeling positive after you speak with them.
The reward for you? Happiness and contentment. Isn’t that good enough?