“Because our minds are so acutely developed in cunningness, in subtlety, in selfishness, we are forcing ourselves to be tolerant or love one another, or help another, serve another, all intellectual things. Whereas, if you really love with your mind as well as your heart, with your whole being. . . you are, therefore you love, therefore you serve, therefore you help.”
— Jiddu Krishnamurthi
Tolerance is often touted as the answer to hatred and discrimination. But we invented tolerance because we cannot be friendly, Krishnamurthi said. “You are not tolerant in love, you are tolerant to the man who thinks differently from you.”
Friendliness and friendship are different. Osho Rajneesh explains that friendship is a relationship that you can have with a few people and animals, while friendliness is a quality that has nothing to do with anyone except your inner self. You can have it with people, with a rock, or even a distant star.
Discrimination creates a need for tolerance. You tolerate a person from a different school of thought, nationality, community, or gender. The more the discrimination, the more tolerance is needed. But a flower open in the jungle doesn’t discriminate while giving out its fragrance. Regardless of who comes to it (or even if nobody comes), it remains the same. That’s friendliness, a trait you can embrace as well.
“If you are perfectly naked, empty,” Krishnamurthi summed up, “you would understand true wisdom, which cannot be arrived at through this narrow idea of brotherhood or tolerance.” What this means is brotherhood actually creates more distinctions.
Boundaries may exist in the physical world, but they don’t have to exist in your mind.