“Never is misery undeserved… there has never been any evil for which I did not pave the way with my own hands… Every blow you have received came to you because you prepared yourselves for it. You did half and the external world did the other half.”
— Swami Vivekananda
When we’re stuck in a job we hate, when we lose all the money we invested, when a long-term friendship ends abruptly, we wonder: Why do bad things happen to a good person like me?
The truth is in the popular saying, “It took two hands to clap. Both were at fault.” Examine yourself honestly and you’ll find that you’re stuck in the job because you aren’t skilling up, that greed was why you lost your money, and that you played a part in the friendship ending too.
If you remain balanced (sattvik) instead of getting trapped in tamas or mindless rajas, you will not contribute to misery from your end. You will stop being miserable.
So take responsibility for your actions—see how you contributed to the situation you didn’t want. (Of course, this doesn’t apply if a crime was committed against you.) This is how you reduce its occurrence or prevent it; this is how you stop being miserable. Choose who you become so that the world doesn’t choose it for you.
From now on, each time you’re about to take a decision, ask yourself: Is this what a balanced person would do? Is my action rational?
You will still experience unpleasant events, but they will be fewer. And you will suffer less because your passage through them will be smoother. You will build resilience, patience, and the ability to take the right action, thus putting yourself in control of your karma.
Experiencing unpleasantness is inevitable, suffering in them is optional.