“Beware of compromises. I do not mean that you are to get into antagonism with anybody, but you have to hold on to your own principles in well or woe and never adjust them to others’ ‘fads’ through the greed of getting supporters. You’re Ātman is the support of the universe – whose support do you stand in need of?”
— Swami Vivekananda
Why do perfectly normal people end up doing terrible things? Why do they commit terrible crimes or get involved in scandals that shake the world? Because they forget how to say no.
It starts with simple compromises. “Just this once,” they think when their boss, spouse, or parent asks for something that doesn’t align with their values. In the beginning, they know it’s badmaashi (roguery). But “just this once” occurs so often that they forget who they truly are. Their will becomes weaker and weaker until they are helpless in the face of adversity or injustice.
Don’t say no to everything – then you’re just a rebel without a cause. Say it just once when you feel something is wrong. Say no just once when your peers coerce you against your wish, when a toxic boss forces you to sacrifice family for work, when you’re being made into a person someone you don’t want to be.
Then say no again. And again… until doing what’s right becomes your default action.
You probably won’t get promoted rapidly, make a ton of money, or have many friends. But you will build character. You will have better control on your willpower. You will sleep soundly at night. And that’s much more valuable than money, fame, and status.