“When your life is one of want, there must be continual tension with the other, who is also acquisitive, and this prevents a true relationship, whether it is between individuals or nations. And this tension leads to conflicts, wars, and many gross and subtle forms of exploitation.”
— J. Krishnamurti
Ask anyone today what they want, and they’ll say “more.” More money, more appreciation, more dates, more love, more turf, more pieces of the pie. The thing is, these desires don’t bring more happiness, which is what we really want. Rather, they bring more of what we don’t want—entrapment and misery.
So long as you’re competing with others, wanting what they have, and basing your worth on their opinions, you will keep living your life on their terms and not discover yourself. This makes you weak, and the weak often get exploited.
To become strong, you must figure out who you are. You must know your strengths, your limits, and your purpose in life. These aspects reveal themselves when your life is one of use rather than one of wants i.e. where you’re useful to others rather than trying to get more out of others. (Research shows that even happiness is a byproduct of being open to others and other-oriented in our experiences.)
Give without the expectation of a reward (and without losing yourself). Let your actions not be a means to extract something from others, but a means to personal satisfaction and growth. This creates harmony. And harmony, not conflict, is where you discover yourself.