“Life seems comfortable; and you find the mind behaves well when everything is going well with you. But if something goes wrong, your mind loses its balance. That is not good. Bear all evil and misery without one murmur of hurt, without one thought of happiness, resistance, remedy, or retaliation. That is true endurance and that you must acquire.” — Swami Vivekananda
Most of us seek comfort, yet our greatest growth occurs during discomfort.
Think about the time when you were learning how to drive. Did you become better by driving on an empty road, or by driving in traffic? Likewise, when you were learning a new professional skill, did you learn it better when you practiced it in a classroom, or when you applied it on the job?
You could know about a skill or trait in a safe environment, but you only truly learn it when you face a challenge.
The same applies to the traits that make you a better person. Courage, discipline, virtue, justice, focus, and kindness. You can know what they are by reading books and listening to lectures. But you can only forge them in difficult moments. This is why a few people can talk enough to fill books, but their walk rarely matches all that talk.
Instead of getting upset of tough situations, relish them. Remind yourself of what they really are: the rub that will turn your coal into a diamond.
When things don’t go as planned, it is an opportunity to practice patience. When anxiety over the future looms overhead, it is an opportunity to practice living in the present moment. When you feel like responding to criticism immediately, tell yourself it is an opportunity to practice taking the conscious action of first reflecting on what was said.
If you don’t work on yourself, you will be helpless during bad times. Of course, they will pass, like a pendulum swings back to the other side. “But that’s no better,” Swami Vivekananda reminds us. “The thing to do is to stop [the pendulum].” To do that, you must remain balanced and steady from within, regardless of the situation.
Life will repeatedly test your equanimity. It’s your response to these tests that determines the depth of your character and the quality of your life.