“We all place ourselves at various levels, and we are constantly falling from these heights. It is the falls we are ashamed of. Self-esteem is the cause of our shame, of our fall. . . If there is no pedestal on which you’ve put yourself, how can there be any fall?” — J. Krishnamurti
An anecdote from Indian physicist Vikram Sarabhai’s life is a great example for how to build self-confidence.
In the 1940s, Vikram was studying variations in the intensity of cosmic rays, like many of his global counterparts. He made the research a priority at the Physical Research Lab (PRL) which he had recently set up.
On his instructions, Vikram’s students and peers made a series of Geiger counter telescopes using cylinders and lead plates. They set up recording stations and prepared formats to measure atmospheric variables of the surface of the upper atmosphere.
The work was marred with challenges. Pigeons shook the telescopes and wiring, causing the readings to vary sharply. Power supply was unstable except on Sundays. And the project demanded tremendous patience and concentration. As Vikram Sarabhai would say, it was “like listening for music in a stormy sky.”
One by one, the team overcame these problems. Vikram even set up a separate monitoring station at higher altitude in Kodaikanal to collect readings. And finally, after months of observation, the data revealed some wavy, semi-diurnal structure of variations.
It was a proud moment for the team. But scientist Homi J. Bhabha didn’t see it like that. During a visit, he pointed out errors in the data like a ‘curt sanitary inspector.’ Undaunted, Vikram replied, “Yes Homi, the errors are rather large. We will see what we can do about it.”
And he kept his word. Over the next five years, Vikram made several improvements to the equipment and added a sea-level station at Trivandrum. This improved the accuracy of the PRL team’s research substantially. (Source)
The Key to Building Self-Confidence
Homi Bhabha’s remarks could have piqued Vikram. After all, the team had done something remarkable, given its limited resources. Didn’t it deserve praise? And Bhabha was Vikram’s friend! Why did he have to humiliate Vikram and his team? Why did he have to damage their self-esteem?
Had Vikram given in to these lower emotions, he would demoralize himself and his team. Instead, he chose to be objective, to do what had to be done, and improve.
That is all that matters: how you improve. Sometimes people will praise you, at other times they’ll criticize you. Or they will ignore all your good work and harp on one tiny fault. Then there are those who will judge you for things you didn’t do. Basing your self-esteem on such cycles, on how you appear in people’s eyes, is like trying to herd cats. It’s draining, not to mention it’s impossible.
Instead, root your self-esteem in competence. Become better at what you do. That is how you build self-confidence. You cannot control how people treat you, but you can control your actions towards a become you.