“Self-awareness is the choiceless awareness of the actual process of your whole being.” — J. Krishnamurti
It’s easy to interpret the above teaching as “This is how I am, let others deal with it.” But that’s only half of it. The other half is, “This is how others are, let me deal with it.”
We want others to be unconditional in accepting us, but we want how they treat us to be conditional (that too, on our conditions). That’s not being choiceless, it’s being selective.
“To be aware of the total entity that you are,” Krishnamurti says, “to be aware of the conscious and unconscious process of your thoughts, feelings, and activities is self-knowledge. It’s beginning is to be aware of your mental and emotional activities.”
Simple observation without judgment on any subject (including yourself) brings knowledge. With knowledge, you can take move towards betterment.
How to start practicing observation without judgment? You can follow a maxim by Krishnamurti. When asked the secret to his happiness, he said, “I don’t mind what happens.”